Title: little gray cat theme song
Original vintage neon Dairy Queen sign on Hwy 99 in Newberg, Oregon.
"In a male-supremacist society, female power must logically appear illogical, mysterious, intimate, threatening. “Witch” stands for all those unnamable shadow acts of disappearance and withdrawal, self-cultivation, and self-medication that elude the social and sexual order"
man people will find any excuse not to have to think about or take responsibility for their own actions
Kiki deliberately said "I am not dragging this person please don't send them mean messages". You jumped to some pretty wild conclusions on your rant there. They are perfectly welcome to be upset about being misgendered constantly.
When? Probably after. At the moment I saw this, there was nothing like this either in tags or in post itself, which proves my point. Later, the notification of the reblog vanished, they probably realised what could their decision be leading to.
On the other hand, if they said the’re not dragging me, why would they make a notion especially pointing to my tags and post? It sure looks too much like setting a target than anything else.
If the disclaimer you write about the case though, kinda nice of them. But still not ok, expressing irritation at random person who couldn’t have known better, when the only thing I did was look at the picture and assume this person is probably a female, as this is what I have been always thinking females look like (Now I know they are not - disclaimer that saying this I’m not naming them a female right now). Oops, I missed the roulette - time to get angry at me. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? I actually reblogged because I thought the person was pretty, made notes to myself, the person took it personally and then I was reblogging a person kind of as a compliment, and ended up with aggressively upsetting them and I feel the worst if I accidentally make anyone feel bad ;m; BUT, if the person does not notify me about it and goes around this in some weird way, then I have a right to assume they did this to shame me. It’s actually more logical for me to assume so than for that person to get angry at getting their gender wrong when the post kind of tells nothing about the gender (if we exclude standardly perceived gender indicators presented).
I feel like everyone of the ‘oppressed’ groups on this platform has gained a right to be angry at anybody for not catering to their expectations, as they misunderstood too many of “it’s okay to feel X” posts. Because yeah, emotions are very important, but I think these kind of posts has taught too many people to stop caring about controlling them at all - this is unhealthy imo. I also feel like it has generated a flawed mechanism too many people are sticking to. Like, it’s okay for women to put down men here, because men are privileged anyway, so they have not much to say. It’s okay to make white people jokes for all the amount of jokes for different races etc etc… It’s all justified, because they are angry/upset/hurt. These are all hyperbolized examples, of much stronger severity than what have happened here, but you get my drift. There IS a logic behind such, but it’s all flawed, it only generates more hate. I’m not tone-policing right now - I’m just saying that basic coutesy and approaching things with a second thought with cognitive (vs. emotional) response is a crucial life skill to be expected from anybody cultured. This could have saved this all jazz, and peace is actually what we all strive for.
As, if there is a misunderstanding, it is better to first politely discuss it with the source of the problem, not complain [political correctness used] behind my back.
It was not a misgendering out of spite. You can be very upset for constant spiteful name-calling. Right, I know I’m not here to tell when a person should feel sad or not, but heck, if they were so sad, they could even make a separate post not hinting it was me who hurt them, the feelings would have been expressed but I wouldn’t have been put in a danger of bullying (which could have been as hurtful as the misgendering was for the person, or even worse as idk how many of hate mails and for how long i’d be getting them, and i have made a mistake only once). Either that or telling me directly. I don’t bite, I usually am a pro-SJ person who occassionally makes goofs. Educating me would have brung both of us the better then putting me in a guilty situation I wasn’t planning. Isn’t this understandable?
I don’t want to write another essay about this, but I have been thinking a lot about the SJW topics and came to conclusion that being ultra politically correct kind of makes me the bigoted type of person I’m fighting against. My advice is to loosen up, don’t expect everyone on this quick-picture-reblogging website to check the original blog before reblogging everything, or to know the gender identity of every person in pictures random people throw at the dashboard, especially if there is basically nothing on the post itself explicitly indicating it. Don’t give anyone right to be plainly impolite for someone who has gotten it wrong and used wrong words basically written to myself only if the situation is like this!
And, always double-take things you feel might be upsetting you.
I don’t feel okay with my mistake, so I’ll apologise here and now. I can delete the reblog if you wish. I don’t really want to come back to it.
I hope this all gives you both a food for thought about consequences.
You are a good friend to them for defending them like this though.
Case closed, no need to reply.
maybe you shouldn’t make assumptions about people’s gender and just use gender-neutral terms instead of deflecting responsibility and turning this into a tirade about respectability politics (which is bullshit)
not everyone knows about gender neutral terms, and even if they do, everyday people walking around tend to not use them. It may seem offensive to some, but guess what? It’s the truth, and people need to also realize that as well. If I see someone who looks like a woman crossing down the street, im not gonna assume they aren’t a woman unless i had prior knowledge of it or saw something that would tell me otherwise. It’s not meant to be offensive, and if you take it that way, by all means, im sure the person apologizes. However, it’s also not right for deerhoof to call this person scum or gross because they made that assumption. Do I really have to hold my tongue regarding someones gender because I’m afraid they might identify as something else, despite their outward appearance? Excuse my language, but fuck that.
lmfao this is transphobic as fuck. what the fuck does it even mean to ‘look like a woman’ there is no standard of womanhood or for any gender for that matter. and you can’t deter to biology because sex exists on a spectrum (here’s a blog for resources because i’m not going waste my time explaining that to someone who doesn’t understand basic decency.) also i’m pretty sure everyone knows the word ‘person,’ so someone could easily say ’this person is super cute/funny/x/y/z/etc.’ or in this case ‘i would like to see this person drawn with different features.’ don’t use ignorance as an excuse to defend bigotry. just because you don’t know something is wrong doesn’t mean it’s ok for you to do it. someone has informed you and now it is absolutely your responsibility to use gender neutral terms when referring to anybody whose gender you do not know.